Day One Of Kindergarten

It is the timeless bible verse that we have heard our whole life. “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”

Apparently, the good Lord has a sense of humor because this story has to do with the word “turn.”  Specifically, turn signal, because most of, if not all, have forgotten what that little lever on the left of the steering wheel is.

I see it more and more and it has always been a problem but no one uses their turn signal anymore.  No one.  Don’t say you do, because Maury’s lie detector has determined that was a lie.

The worst is when a car is making a right turn into a parking lot and all you see are brake lights at the last second.  It happens all the time and I see it all the time.

We have many answers on how we can rectify this but now, my friends, I have a solution.  It will work although it will take about ten to twelve years.

Here it is:  On the first day of kindergarten, we set aside 15 minutes to teach kids how to use a turn signal.  Every single day we do this.  “But Joe, they are only six years old, this is wasting their time when they could be doing other things, such as picking their nose.”  Exactly.  And when they are on the playground in their big wheels, we can start to implement this.

Fast forward, they are 15 and getting their learning permit.  Here is how the test should go: “Okay, Lauren.  Your seatbelt is on, nice job.  Show me where the turn signal is.  Perfect.  Now left turn.  Great.  Now right turn.  Yes.  Great job.  You pass.”

The drivers test the next year, the exact same thing.  Find the turn signal, put on your seat belt and don’t turn the car radio to Bro-Country and you will pass without even putting the car in drive.  Also, if you do turn to Bro-Country during the test, you will not be allowed to get your license until you are 45.  If it is one of the presets, then that is a $500 fine.

Speaking of fines, this is another way to get people to use turn signals.  A minimum of $1000 and have to listen to Florida-Georgia Line for an hour on full blast while sitting in the Hermitage Walmart parking lot.  Do you have any idea how quickly people would start using their turn signals?  Immediately.

Again, train a child in the way he should go and he when he is old, he will never turn from it.   I plan on speaking to school boards around the country about this very soon.  I hear they are not busy these days so it should be no problem.

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