What They Meant To Say

It is Thursday and that means it is time to filter through the ‘Coach Speak’ and get to the point of what SEC football coaches, meant to say.

Like I said a few weeks ago, this has become the most popular part of the Uber-successful website, BigJoeOnTheGo.com.

So, without further ado, here is ‘What They Meant To Say.’



Look, we got a win against a very good South Alabama team and that gives us confidence. We will have to play as good to have a chance against Georgia.”


The only way we win this game is if Georgia forgets to show up. And even then, I am not sure we can win. This game could get ugly. Like Paula Deen ugly.”



We know that Tennessee will give us everything they got on Saturday. And if we are not prepared, it could be a long day.”


We could literally not practice all week, show up in Knoxville 15 minutes before the game and beat them by 75. I put in their tape from the South Alabama game and my team laughed for an hour.”



Guys, the only thing I am concerned about right now is beating Missouri on Saturday. I will not talk about the USC job. Will not!”


Dear Jesus, this is James. If I could only have one thing in my life, let it be the USC job. Thank you! Amen.”



“We are very fortunate to be 4 and 0 right now but it is what we do in the SEC that matters. I feel very good where we are as a football team right now.”


“Why does everyone laugh when I say we are in the SEC?”



“We had open week and had a chance to work on a lot of things that were supposed to work against LSU. Ole Miss will give us a true test of

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where we are as a football team.”


“Whatever happens in life, please don’t send me back to Arkansas.”



“We got out coached and out played last week against Alabama. I will take full blame for losing that game. Don’t look at the players, look at me. My fault.”


“Do you all realize that about 5 years ago, I was coaching at Lambuth? Lambuth! Sh*t, I can’t even say that without laughing. I guarantee my entire team could not pick Lambuth out on a map if I told them its in Jackson, Tennessee!”



“See, this what you guys in the media do. You find a story and run with it and then when it is proven nothing is there, you run with it some more. I am focused only on a Georgia State football team that wants nothing better than to beat Alabama.”


“Let me get this straight. We are not playing Georgia. We are not playing Georgia Tech. But Georgia State. Like the state of Georgia? I might seriously put in Tuscaloosa Jr.High so I can start preparing for LSU. This is G** Damn ridiculous. Lemme ask this too. Is there a legal way I can kill sportswriters?”



“This open week could not have come at a better time. We need this week off to get rested and then prepare for the second half of the season.”


“Damn, do we really have an open week? Quick, where the fu*k is Manziel? Anyone know? Find his little cracker ass and lock him in his room. What’s that? He is gone? Monaco then Paris? God save us all.”



“The loss to Georgia was tough because we left everything we had on the field. But no one will feel sorry for us and I am sure Mississippi State is not going to feel sorry for us either.”


“Did you know that there is a river named Mississippi? Damn straight. Supposedly it is a big one too. Runs like east to west or something.”



“I was pleased with the way our guys competed against Kentucky in getting that win. Look, in this league a win is a win, don’t care who you are playing. They are all equal.”


“Hey, those wins over Kentucky and Tennessee still count right, even though they are two of the worst football teams I have ever seen. And I even coached in the Big 12. #OhWilly.”



“This will be a first real test in the SEC against Florida. We are going on the road and right now, we are not a very good football team. Two losses in a row. I have challenged our guys, our coaches and myself.”


“Lemme ask you guys a question. Is there a Golden Corral down there?”


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