I read that if you have a problem, tell someone.

No matter how big or small, tell someone.

I have a problem my friends.

One that I am not sure I can stop.

One that I am sure might follow me to the grave.

It happens almost daily and sometimes, three or four times.


I steal pens.


Yes, there is it.

I steal pens.

I can’t stop it.

I have tried and tried and tried but I can’t stop it.

At the dentist this week and then, at the bank today.

I was in the bank two days ago and took two pens.

I got home from the bank today and looked in my car, 4 pens sitting there.

I had a panic attack thinking this was coming next.



I probably have 100 pens now and I am not sure where 99 of them came from.

If I walk into an office or a business and the first thing I see is that there are pens, a bunch of them in a cup, I can’t stop thinking about how I want one of them.

“Here you go sir, take a pen.”

“Thank you ma’am.  I had plan on stealing it but not now.”  (Cue fake laugh.)

I came across this meme and it was perfect because in my cache of pens, I don’t have one of these.




I have zero red pens.  Zero.

Why is that no one steals red pens?  This would be a great, no, hold up, it would be an outstanding topic on Dr.Phil one day.



“Let me get this straight.  You steal pens but won’t steal a red one?  Why don’t you pretend all pens are red?  Seems pretty simple to me.”

It is not just me who does this, but world leaders, too.


Yes, everyone does it and we just need to admit it.

Perhaps there is a solution.

One that would stop us all from stealing pens.

I am pretty sure this would work. 





  1. Elaine November 15, 2016 8:04 pm  Reply

    I have also discovered in my office that if you put them in a drawer, they’ll stay put – don’t know why (another piece of the puzzle – we’ll tell Dr. Phil)

    • Joe Dubin December 15, 2016 3:48 am  Reply

      That seems to help…

      • Elaine December 15, 2016 4:19 pm  Reply

        Out of sight, out of mind – so to speak.

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