‘Are You Shi**ing Me?’

The first real concert I saw was back in 1982, when I went with a friend to see Heart and this new guy, John Cougar, open for them.
Didn’t know much about Heart, heck I was only 13 at the time, but John Cougar had ‘Jack and Diane,’ and it was all over the radio and MTV.
I paid 8 dollars for my ticket.
Not long after that, I saw The Police, with the English Beat, for 10 bucks.
Not bad right?
So a few weeks ago, I get a phone call from my daughter, who is 15, and she can barely talk.
“Hello?”
“Daddy, oh my, oh my, oh my…..I cant breathe!”
“HONEY, WHO EVER IT IS, KICK HIM IN THE CROTCH, POKE HIM IN THE EYES AND SLAP THE SH*T OUT OF HIM AND RUN!”
“………..What?……..”
“Are you OK?”
“Yes, but back up a second.”
“Never mind, what’s up?’
“Daddy, One Direction is coming to town and I wanna go see them. Now don’t freak out, tickets might be a little expensive, but I will work the rest of my life to pay you back. I promise.”
“OK, sweetheart, let me check on them and I will get back with you. Love you!”
I hop online go to the website and HEART ATTACK!
$330.00
For one ticket.
$330.00
For one damn ticket.
I called her back.
“Hi Honey.”
“Hi daddy. Did you check and see?”
“Yes Ma’am. But honey, “
“Yes?”
“Guess how much one ticket is?”
“I said I will work forever to pay you back.”
“Will you live to be 200?’
“Huh?”
“Never mind.
“So can I go?”
“Honey, I am not paying $330 dollars so you can see bad teeth on stage. Heck for 10 percent of that, we can buy the Austin Powers DVD set.”
“Huh?”
(Obviously, the jokes weren’t working.)
“Do you know what I paid for my first concert ever?”
“Here we go.”
“A lot less than One Direction. Let’s see, you are getting your permit soon, right?”
“Yes.”
“You can go if you drive the getaway car when I rob a bank to pay for it.”
“If I do that, can I go?”
“Absolutely”
“Yay Daddy, thank you. Love you!”
Obviously, the sarcasm was not working on here, as well as the jokes.
She will probably end up going after all and when I am still collecting her paychecks when she is 30, she will understand.
But damn, I wonder how much John ‘Cougar’ Mellencamp is charging now?
Are you Shi**ing me?

@BIGJOEONTHEGO

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