“Always, Always, Hold His Hand.”

We all saw it.  We all saw the water get dumped on the floor.

And that is OK.

I know you feel that everyone is the restaurant is looking at you and at that moment, they probably were.

But, that is OK.

We also heard the silverware hit the floor with a loud noise that made everyone turn around.

That is also OK.

Listen, you are doing a fantastic job, in case you did not know.  A fantastic job.

It is frustrating because you didn’t sign up for this.  None of us did.

And that is OK.

If you have had to take your parent, or grandparent, or a loved one, out to eat and they are suffering through dementia or alzheimer’s, it can be quite an adventure.

I witnessed a son and a father at a restaurant go through all of that recently.  What I really saw was a son who never yelled, never got mad, never “shushed” his father and remained calm through the entire dinner.

I have been there when my mom was getting sick.  My mother one time told a little girl in a restaurant next to us, who was being quite loud, “You better be quiet and you are not that pretty.”  I prayed Scotty would beam me up that second.  I apologized profusely and my mom said, “Well, it is true.”  I moved to mom’s side and put my arm around her and calmed her down.  After a few minutes, I profusely apologized to the lady and she said, “I have been there, please, it is OK.”

Whew, that was a relief.

Another time, my mom whispered for a nurse to come over when she was in the nursing home and said, “Sweetie, you stick me one more time with a needle, you can go *bleep* yourself.”  I was horrified and the nurse said to my mom, “Miss Marjie, if I do that, you can do whatever you want.”  I walked out to the nurse and apologized and she said, “Please don’t.  It makes me laugh.  I know what is happening and I am sorry. You just get back in there and enjoy your time with her.  And, hold her hand.  Always hold her hand.”

As the man and his father left the restaurant, I walked up to him and said that he was doing a wonderful job and he smiled and said, “Thank you.  You must have experience in this.”  I remarked that sadly I do, but it was the time spent together with my mom that was worth every crazy and wild moment.

“Oh, one more thing.”  I said to him. “Always hold his hand.  Every chance you get, hold his hand.  Great advice I was given and it was perfect.  Trust me on this.”

 

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