I have written before about the top 5 worst places I have been stranded when my car stopped working. It was a fun look back because we all have been stuck on the side of the road at some point. I usually laugh when it happens because the alternative of losing it is not good for my blood pressure.
Usually, you can pull over to the side of the road and call a wrecker and just wait. Until this last time. My car stalled out on rush hour on Lebanon Road and let’s just say southern hospitality should be called southern hostility and I am here for it.
For some reason, my car just stopped in the fast lane when you come over the hill on Lebanon road where Party Fowl is located. It was about 7:45 A.M. and I was headed to my radio show and we had a remote that morning at the Omni Nashville Hotel. All was going well until it wasn’t going well.
It stalled, and wouldn’t turn. I tried and tried, and put my hazards which in that situation is an S.O.S. Then the comments from the drivers started coming and they wouldn’t stop. I should have pulled my phone out to record it because some were absolute gems.
Also, it was about 75 degrees and sunny so everyone had their window down. I heard some things that would have made Redd Foxx blush. I left out the cusswords but you can just imagine.
“Buy a an American car next time!” I drive a Buick but anyway.
“Great job. Couldn’t you have broken down at home?”
“Did you not know this was going to happen? Thanks for ruining my day!”
“Buy a better car! Loser!”
Then I was accused of being a democrat and a republican which I have no idea where that came from but those comments were peppered with four-letter words.
Now I have my hood open just to see if anything was leaking or just something. Yes, the hazards were still going and yes, I felt terrible. Here are some other gems.
“Take the interstate next time. Do better!”
“Your car is stupid!”
“Start your car and move it over there!”
“I am late for work all because of you. ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!”
Oh it got worse and worse. Only one person said I am sorry. Again, I felt awful, absolutely awful. My favorite was a lady who pulled behind me and wouldn’t stop honking. My hood was up and hazards on. She kept honking. I got out of my car and walked back to her car because she wouldn’t stop. She says, “Hey, you’re the sports guy on TV!” Great, I am not but please stop honking.
This all happened in about a three minute span, maybe less. Finally, I started my car again and it worked. Yes! I was on my way and just could not stop laughing. One day this will be part of my stand-up comedy routine. I couldn’t imagine being stuck there for ten minutes.
I didn’t know what to expect but as Jimmy Buffett said so eloquently, “If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane.”
Amen.