IF YOU WERE ONLY ALIVE TODAY TO SEE THE NEWS
Walter Cronkite is iconic to me. Growing up, I remember my grandpa watching him every single day at 5:30 and then dinner would follow. If Walter Cronkite said it, then it was true. End of argument, end of everything.
So today, while researching another story for this award winning blog, I came across news stories that literally had me saying to myself, WTF and in my John McEnroe voice, ‘THIS CANNOT BE TRUE!’
Again, these are all true.
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WOMAN DIES IN BATHROOM GYM, MALE EMPLOYEE REFUSES TO ENTER
New York – A Long Island woman collapsed and died in a Bay Shore health club’s bathroom because a male employee refused to enter the women’s locker room to try to save her, a lawsuit claims.
Emily Hamlin ,22, was in a ladies’-room stall at Planet Fitness on Route 27 during an early-morning workout when another gym member heard her drop to the floor, the legal papers say.
Stephanie Dick said she dashed to the front desk and pleaded with gym employee Sean Higgins to help.
“He said he didn’t know what to do and that he wasn’t allowed to go into the ladies’ bathroom,” Dick said in her sworn affidavit.
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{{{Look, give the guy a break. He just got level 24 on Candy Crush and he wasn’t about to move. }}}
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WOMAN KILLS HUSBAND, SELF WHILE LEARNING TO PARK
China – A woman tragically killed her husband and herself while backing up her car in an underground parking garage in Ningbo, Zhejiang Province.
Qianjiang Evening News reported 41-year-old driver surnamed Lin, who was issued a driver’s license in May, was practicing backing up her Lexus RX270 SUV into a parking space as her husband directed from behind, when she backed up too far and pinned him against the wall.
According to the report, Lin stuck her head out the window upon hearing her husband’s scream, and accelerated in an attempt to move forward.
She however forgot to change gears from reverse to drive, which not only killed him instantly but caused her head to get stuck between the car and a wall along the parking space.
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{{HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA}}
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BLACK BEAR BREAKS INTO KNOXVILLE ZOO, THEN BREAKS OUT
KNOXVILLE — The Knoxville Zoo had an unexpected break-in Monday night — from a wandering black bear.
While zoos are always alert to keep their exotic animals safely inside their habitats, they rarely experience a wild animal the size of a bear wanting to get inside their boundaries.
It was about midnight when a zoo ranger spotted a young black bear scaling the 10-foot-high chain-link and barbed wire of the zoo’s perimeter fence. A neighbor had alerted the zoo a bear had been seen in the Chilhowee Park area, zoo spokeswoman Tina Rolen said today.
A zoo ranger headed to the park area near its herpetology building and close to Chilhowee Park’s East Tennessee Discovery Center. The ranger saw the bear — described as a youngster weighing maybe 150 pounds — in Chilhowee Park.
That’s when the bear scaled the fence into the zoo.
The ranger quickly called other zoo rangers and staff members, Rolen said.
The first thought was to check the zoo’s own group of four captive black bears which lounge in the natural habitat Black Bear Falls in another section of the park. Zookeepers quickly counted bear noses and discovered that none of their bears were out and about for an evening stroll.
So zoo rangers and staff members began an early morning search of the park’s 53 acres.
The zoo notified dispatchers for the Knoxville Police Department of the bear sighting.
University of Tennessee College of Veterinary Medicine and Tennessee Wildlife Resource Agency wildlife officers were awakened to stand by in case they were needed.
But once the bear got into the zoo he or she made few stops. When zoo officials determined there was no roaming bear on the grounds, they opened the zoo.
Rolen said zoo staffers speculate the animal likely scaled a fence out of the park unseen.
While the zoo took the case of a wild animal rambling on its grounds seriously, this morning was a time for a few jokes.
Zoo Executive Director Lisa New said, “Of course our first concern is to ensure the safety of our visitors and animals. We are also concerned about the welfare of our wandering bear, who hopefully has made his way to a more rural area.”
Then she quipped, “Of course, our Black Bear Falls is one of the top habitats in the country so maybe word has gotten out in the black bear community.”
Should the non-captive bear turn back up at the zoo, park officials joke they’ll waive its admission fee. After all, it already knows the way in.
(Knoxnews.com)
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{{ I would run away from Paula Deen too if I was a black bear}}
GET IN MY BELLY!
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WOMAN TOO POOR TO AFFORD FUNERAL, BURIES HUSBAND IN BACKYARD
California – Authorities made a sad and ghastly discovery this week during a routine check on a San Bernadino man: His wife had buried him in their backyard because she couldn’t afford a funeral.
Yvonne Winn, 59, told police that her husband, Thom Winn, 63, died last month of natural causes, and she then buried him in a makeshift grave, a hole about 5-feet deep she dug behind their Apple Valley home.
Thomas Winn’s body was discovered stuffed into two garbage bags.
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{{ And who said women NEVER take out the garbage? Well done Yvonne.}}
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TESTS ON DOG SAFETY BELTS: 100% FAILURE RATE
MIAMI – A first-of-its-kind crash test for dog harnesses widely used by pet owners showed that none offer adequate protection, with not a single harness passing the test.
The non-profit Center for Pet Safety (CPS) said during its harness tests, crash-test dog dummies turned into projectiles and were even decapitated.
“We tested them to the child safety restraint standard and we experienced a 100-percent failure rate to protect either the consumer or the dog,” said CPS founder and CEO Lindsey Wolko.
“That is a very real concern for consumers.
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{{ FOR CONSUMERS??? WHAT ABOUT THE FU*KING DOGS!?!?!?!?!}}
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