400 Million Problems

Per my usual Wednesday night, I drove up to the local liquor and cigarette store to buy my weekly Powerball tickets and the the place was packed. I get in line and this is the conversation going on.

“Why are so many people in the store tonight?”

‘Ma’am, they are all playing the Powerball.”

“Is it up to some big amount?”

“Yes, $400 million.”

“Ohh, I will play then. I usually don’t play until it gets up really high.”

Then, the guy we all know. Pete pessimistic chimes in.

“All you get is 400 million problems.”

Lady pauses, then says, “I can get rid of a lot of people and problems with $400 million dollars.”

Dead silence.

More people have come into the store now with hopes of being the lucky winner of the $400 million dollar Powerball now.

From well dressed to not so well dressed, men, women, white, black, etc, are all in line to get their ticket.

We all hope we will win. We know we won’t, but what if you did?

What would you do

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Do you tell anyone? Do you tell your family and your friends?

Or do you wait a few days, then act?

Or maybe get out of town,

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What would you do?

Then, you gotta get a lawyer, then a financial adviser, maybe several of them too. But can you trust them? How do you know you can?

Then, come all the family members you haven’t thought about in years but they are thinking about you now.

Non stop.

And friends, your mind is racing as to who might get what, or who has pissed you off and will get nothing. And then, who’s face do you want to rub it in that you are now worth, after taxes, a quarter of a billion?

Then come all the scam artists wanting you to invest in this and that. Gotta be hundreds who want to talk to you immediately. You have to get away from them.

You will have to move, quit your job, find a place to stay and figure out what to do next.

Then, remember all those times you said, “If I had a million dollars, I would help them.”

Now you have at least $250 million after taxes.

Who do you help? Who do you not help?

And how much help do you give them? Is it too little? Too much? Just enough?

Then, what do you invest in? Again, do you trust the guy who is your financial adviser? Do you have to hire a guy to watch him, then hire a guy to watch the guy who is watching the guy who is in charge of your money?

Do you go buy a car? Do you buy your friends a car? What kind of car? Just one car or several cars?

Does your new house have a garage that big? Do you need a house with a garage that big if you don’t buy a bunch of cars?

Do you buy a beach house? Of course you do, but where? East coast, west coast, gulf coast? Maybe something in Belize? Or Honduras?

It literally goes on and on and on and on.

So after all, maybe you do have 400 million problems.

Pretty sure, we would all like to find out.

Oh, by the way, if I win, this will be the second to last blog I will ever write.

The next one I will do from my new house. On the beach. But what beach? And what kind of house? What kind of laptop do I use? Am I drinking anything cool?




  1. Brutus February 20, 2014 8:42 pm  Reply

    If you win can I please get $1 million per every past post on your blog?

  2. Jane February 21, 2014 8:13 pm  Reply

    so what do you do if you don’t win? Whine? Drink wine to drown your sorrows? Continue to play weekly? Drive your car off into a sinkhole?

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