Some nights when I can’t sleep, which is most nights, I will try reading a book or even worse, scrolling on my phone. Thankfully, my feed is filled with many positive messages and sayings and the like which can really do a brain well. A lot of things are so perfectly expressed with phrases and interviews but then there are some that just make you sit up and ponder.
Early in my visits with a therapist, I was asked, “What makes you happy?” I gave the standard answer that my kids make me happy, my friends, travel and on and on. He asked me if I still had those things in my life and I replied yes. He said to always remember what makes you happy. No matter what you go through, always circle back to what makes you happy.”
Now when I run into a friend or someone I haven’t seen in a while and they will tell me what they are doing and my next question always is, “Are you happy?” It is just one simple question that can really open up a conversation on how someone is feeling and if they are truly happy. I asked a friend that not too long ago and he said, “You know, no one has ever asked me that and now I don’t know how to answer.” We talked for about another thirty minutes on whether or not he was happy and he said probably not. We did the same exercise my therapist did to me about what makes me happy and he talked of things that did make him happy he had long forgotten about or took for granted.
Now when someone tells me about everything going in in their life and when they are finished, I will ask, “Are you happy?” No one yet has come straight out and said “oh yes,” or “not at all.” They usually pause for a few seconds and I get, “Yes, I am,” or the one I get far too often, “I am not quite sure.” I love these and you know why? They are honest, heartfelt answers that maybe they have never thought about.
“Are you happy” has now become my favorite thing to bring up when talking to someone I haven’t chatted with in a while. It was so powerful when I was first asked that, I paused and said, “I am not sure.” What it did to me was to go find those things that did make me happy and just jump fully into every bit of that world and guess what, it worked. I love success for all my friends but the better thing is when they tell me they are happy.
That makes the world just a little bit brighter and better.
