There are moments in our life where we wish we could go back and say or do something in a situation. It doesn’t happen that often but it will drive you crazy when you sit and think about it.
It happened to me recently and I could just kick myself for it. I have written quite a bit about being raised by a single mom and unfortunately, I got to see life beat her down on too many occasions that I vividly remember but I wish I didn’t. We would go out to eat from time to time growing up and after a long day, she mustered every ounce of energy she had to smile and talk with me about any and everything.
She was a warrior in every sense of the word and this is why I am mad at myself. At dinner recently, and I saw a mom with two boys, probably 12 and 10, and she had a look that I recognized all too well. Exhaustion. The more she was talking to her boys, I got that she was a single mom and absolutely doing the best that she could.
I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but she said to one of them, “I had to leave work to take you to the doctor and that is why it is not done.” That hit me hard because my mom had to do the same thing, countless times.
I wish I had talked to her when the boys weren’t around and told her she is doing just fine. Then say that it may seem as if the world is crushing you, but you are doing just fine. Those boys will know what you are doing and have done and will done for them. Keep fighting whatever battle comes your way and as a mom, there is nothing that can stop you.
I would also tell her that whatever situation you have with the boys’ father, don’t put him down to them, no matter how much you want to. My mother never one time bashed my father when she had every right to do so. I would tell this mom not to do that as well, because your boys will figure it all out. They will figure it out because you are raising men and you will see that in due time.
Ask for help when you can and don’t be embarrassed by it. I got countless rides to practices growing up from other parents and everything was all right.
Finally, I would tell that whatever comes their way, they have each other and that is the strongest bond in the world. Nothing will come between y’all as long as you have each other.
I learned my lesson from all of this and if I see this type of situation again, I will definitely say something to let them know they are doing just fine.
Unfortunately, I know this all too well.