What Would We Burn?

I was watching the celebration in Philadelphia after they won the game and I started thinking, and this is crazy I know, if the Titans were to ever win the Super Bowl, what kind of riot would Nashville have.
When the Titans lost in the big game back in January of 2000, I was downtown doing a live piece for the news and you could sense something was building up but was obviously tempered because of them losing.
The Predators great run to the Stanley Cup Final was another feeling that something would happen had they won it all.
But, again, to what degree would we have celebrated in Nashville?  Would we have rioted?  This city and our neighbors are pretty amazing but we have no idea what would exactly happen if Music City wins a pro sports championship.
This is where I am brought in to help.  Let us all have a plan in case this happens.  So, here are my 5 things we must burn to the ground if we bring home that elusive championship.

Pedal Taverns.  Every single one within a 10-mile radius of downtown Nashville needs to be set on fire.

Greer Stadium.  Actually, this might be a great place to start to make sure we are doing all this burning correctly but I hate those pedal taverns with a passion, I want to see them all burn and burn quickly.

The Music statues by Music Row.  Our redneck Stonehenge.  Burn it to the ground, immediately.  I have never heard one person say to me, “Wow, those are so beautiful.”  I have heard this, though, many, many times, “What in the hell is that?”

The Ghost Ballet.  Otherwise knows as WTH.  I can’t prove it, yet, but somehow, someway, this awful whatever, is somehow connected to the Musica Statues.  Goodbye to you, when one of the pro team wins, we win, by destroying this.

A certain red light.  Not all of them, but for me, there is a certain red light in front of the Donelson/Hermitage YMCA that is out to get me and I am going to get it, before it gets me.  While the other 4 burn, or destroyed, I will have my Marshall Dillon stand-off with this red light and I will win.  And those that travel that way will be forever happy.

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