What if every SEC football stadium could talk?
Imagine the stories they could tell.
A century of some of the greatest moments in sports have happened on their hallowed grounds.
And possibly, so many other things that a camera did not capture.
The 14 SEC football stadiums all should be registered as national landmarks because they mean that much, to so many people.
Wouldn’t it be great to get them around a warm fire and have them talk about the greatest moments that happened right in the middle of their heart?
This would only work, if the stadiums talked trash JUST LIKE THEIR FANS DO!
That is the only way.
So sit back and enjoy, ‘If They Could Only Talk….Trash Talk That Is.’
AUBURN: ‘Man, talk about a special place, we are where dreams are made of!”
ALABAMA: ‘Fu*k you! All you are is a vet school. And that is all you guys will ever be.’
GEORGIA: ‘God I love this. and by God, I mean Mark Richt.’
TENNESSEE: ‘Hahaha! This is great but we really can’t say much. We had that sack of sh*t Dooley on our sidelines for 3 years. Did you guys see him when he sat on that damn stool? Jesus!’
VANDY: ‘Hey guys!
TENNESSEE: ‘Who invited you? Y’all have won like 4 games at your stadium in 10 years.
VANDY: ‘But one of them was over you.’
SOUTH CAROLINA: ‘Hold up there Vandy. If you beat someone, and no one is there to see it, did you really win?
VANDY: ‘Really guys. Tennessee how was that 4th down spot looking. Never mind.’
TENNESSEE: ‘Go to hell Nerd!’
MISSOURI: ‘HELLO EVERYBODY!! TIGERS IN THE HOUSE!’
LSU: “Not so fast there slappy. We got the real Tigers here!”
AUBURN: “Whoa whoa. Easy there LSU.”
FLORIDA: “Hey everyone. Merry Christmas.”
GEORGIA: “Don’t you have bigger things to worry about than coming here.”
FLORIDA: “I am sorry. Was polishing off our 3 national championship trophies and numerous SEC ones too. Besides don’t you have another arrest coming up soon?”
GEORGIA: “Really? This coming from the school that had Aaron Hernandez?”
KENTUCKY: “Guys, guys! Stop. Let’s stop this now!”
TENNESSEE: “You know Kentucky, besides Randall Cobb, I cannot name one player who has played for you.”
KENTUCKY: “Sigh. Neither can I.”
OLE MISS: “Hey Everyone! How are we? I know, who has the prettiest ladies, we do. Next question! HA!”
ALABAMA: “Name one exciting moment that has ever happened at your stadium. One.”
OLE MISS: “Well. Umm, umm. Damn you Bama!”
VANDY: “All this hate. I don’t understand it.’
ARKANSAS: ‘Hey Vandy, ever heard of the band Crowded House?’
VANDY: “No, I have not.’
ARKANSAS: ‘Figures. Get it, Crowded House?”
VANDY: “That’s not even funny.”
AUBURN: “Arkansas, when you get back to relevancy in about 15 years, come back and talk to us.”
ARKANSAS: “Oh my Bad Auburn. My bad. Let’s see, you have two miracles and a quarterback, Cam Newtown, who you paid, and you are now the authority? Riiiiight.”
AUBURN: ” Ya know Arkansas, you can’t prove any of that with Cam. Also, you’re the only school where your helmet logo, looks like your women.”
LSU: “Oh Damn, snap!”
TENNESSEE: “Gotta say LSU, your stadium is my fave. Can’t believe I admitted that, but it is.”
LSU: “I appreciate that. I gotta admit, it’s killing me not drop Kiffin or Dooley jokes on you. I am really trying hard.”
FLORIDA: “Oh I won’t. Neyland stadium is the only place were you need a tetanus shot, before, during and after the game.”
TENNESSEE: “One word Florida, Jorts.”
MISS. ST. : ‘Hey everyone, I got a fever, and the only prescription is…….”
OLE MISS: ‘Penicillin?”
MISS. ST: “Cowbell, you damn dumb asses!”
And on and on and on…..Until they all reached this conclusion….Most of them hate Alabama. And all claimed Vandy as a home game.
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