Goodbye 2019 and “Hello, 2020!”
Everyone has the same resolutions of losing weight, eating better, taking control of their lives and yada, yada, yada. Usually, by March 1st, these have all gone out the window and we are back to square one.
So, why not make a list of things we can all do better in 2020? Cool.
*****************************
1) USING OUR TURN SIGNALS
WE CAN ALL GET BETTER DOING THIS. LOOK, I GET IT WHEN YOU ARE IN THE LEFT-HAND TURN LANE AND YOU ARE GOING TO TURN LEFT BECAUSE YOU ARE IN A DESIGNATED TURN LANE BUT GOING DOWN MURFREESBORO RD AND WANT TO STOP AT BURGER KING AND HAPPEN TO BE GOING 55 IN A 30, YOU ARE GONNA GET A WHOPPER ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.
SO LET’S MAKE TURN SIGNALS BE OUR BEST FRIENDS.
2) YOUR CROSSFIT WORKOUTS
I WILL MAKE THIS VERY SIMPLE. ABSOLUTELY NO ONE, I MEAN NO ONE, CARES ABOUT HOW MANY BURPEES YOU DID, OR HOW MANY TYPEWRITERS YOU TOSSED, OR HOW MANY TIRES YOU FLIPPED. ABSOLUTELY, NO ONE. AND THIS IS THE FACE I WILL MAKE WHEN YOU TRY TO TELL ME.
3) LAUGH MORE
THIS IS A MUST. EXAMPLE, YEARS AGO, WHEN I WAS A CAMERAMAN, WHENEVER WE HAD TO GO TO THE AIRPORT FOR AN INTERVIEW, SOMEONE WOULD ALWAYS ASK WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, I WOULD ALWAYS SAY, “EVER HEARD OF GARTH BROOKS?” THEY WOULD GET SO EXCITED. THEN, WHEN GARTH DOESN’T SHOW UP, THEY WOULD LOOK AT ME AND I WOULD SAY, “I DIDN’T SAY HE WAS COMING, JUST ASKED IF YOU HAD EVER HEARD OF HIM.” DAMN, THIS STILL MAKES ME GIGGLE, YEARS LATER.
LET’S SIMPLY JUST LAUGH MORE, WHEN AND WHEREVER WE CAN.
4) FACEBOOK DRAMA
THIS HAS BECOME MY NEW FAVORITE THING TO READ ON FACEBOOK. PEOPLE DECLARING THAT ARE ”LEAVING FACEBOOK” AND ALL THE COMMENTS THAT FOLLOW.
“PLEASE DON’T LEAVE”, “I DON’T BLAME YOU”, “I’M RIGHT WITH YOU”, “DON’T DO IT, COME BACK,” AND ON AND ON.
PEOPLE, WE HAVE TO BE BETTER THAN THIS. IF YOU ARE GOING TO GET OFF FACEBOOK, GO, DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT AND LEAVE. THIS “DECLARATION” REMINDS ME WHEN MICHAEL SCOTT DECLARED BANKRUPTCY ON “THE OFFICE” BY SHOUTING IT OUT LOUD.
5) OPEN DOORS
IT IS AS SIMPLE AS IT SOUNDS. AND SMILE WHILE DOING IT. I ACTUALLY SEE MORE PEOPLE OPEN DOORS THAN NOT SO I THINK WE ARE DOING THIS VERY WELL BUT LET’S JUST KEEP IT GOING.
6) LUNCH PLANS
THIS ABSOLUTELY HAS TO STOP. DO NOT ASK ME WHAT I AM DOING FOR LUNCH AT 9 AM. SOME OF MY FRIENDS, ASK EARLIER THAN THAT. AND DO NOT DO IT WITH SUCH EAGERNESS AND UNBRIDLED OPTIMISM. HOW ABOUT WE GET TO 10:30 FIRST, OR BETTER YET, LET’S SET IT UP WEEKS IN ADVANCE? BECAUSE IF YOU DO IT AT 8 AM, HERE IS THE FACE I WILL BE MAKING.
7) SAYING “THANK YOU”
AS SIMPLE AS IT SOUNDS, THANK YOU. AS IN, THANK YOU FOR CONTINUING TO READ THIS COMPLETE NONSENSE. GO ATTACK 2020.
******************************************
@BIGJOEONTHEGO
Sharing is Caring:
Twitter
Facebook
Google
Reddit