Fatherly Advice

So on Father’s Day, the day when we say thanks to pop, I would like to give you Fatherly Advice that I have been given, or other’s that have allegedly told their kids. Some of these are true, the first one, totally true.


I worked with Turko for about 3 years at channel 2. He never spoke to me, except one time, the day after my daughter was born. He said, ‘I heard you had a daughter. I have 2 girls. Lemme give you some advice. When you have a boy, you have to worry about one pecker. When you have a girl, you have to worry about all the peckers.’ We never spoke again.

We are from Kentucky, so this is not awkward.

Billy Ray to Miley: ‘Honey bear. Life gets better after your GED.’

Joe Jackson


Janet Jackson

JOE JACKSON TO JANET JACKSON: ‘You are my second favorite daughter. What is your name again?’

Lawrence and his porn star actress daughter.

‘You got an acting job? I am so proud of you. What will you be doing exactly? I have never heard of Peter North. What has he been in ?

Bill and Chelsea

“No matter what they try to tell you. We are NOT from Arkansas. Have never been, have no idea where it is. Nothing.’

Navin Johnson

Navin Johnson’s dad to him: ‘Lord loves a working man. Don’t trust whitey. See a doctor and get rid of it.’

Ken Griffey, Sr and Jr.

‘Excuse me? I left you nothing? Nothing? Son, this AIN’T a bat!’ #ohjojo

Antonio Cromartie has 10 kids.

Andrew Luck to AC: OK, repeat after me. Junior, Jerzee, Jagger, Tyler, Karis, Julian, London, Alonzo, Deyjah,and Leilani. ‘
Happy Father’s Day!

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