BIG JOE’s Super Bowl Bets

Super Bowl 48 is set to take place on Sunday and the Broncos are favored by 3 points, if you are into that sorta thing.  Apparently, a lot of you are into that sorta thing.  (Get your mind out of the damn gutter.)  
I am talking about betting.  For the SB, you can literally bet on any and everything.  Bets that have ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with the game.  Here are a few examples:

How long will it take to sing the National Anthem?

Over/under 2:25

Will the person who sings the National Anthem wear gloves?  
What kind of hat will Bruno Mars wear when he sings at halftime?
What will his first song be?
How many times will they show Archie Manning on TV?
How many times will they show Eli Manning on TV?
What will the color of Gatorade be that they dump on the winning coach?
When the SB MVP makes his speech after the game, who will he thank first?  God? His mom?  His teammates?  The city?

You get what is going on here.  So we at BJOTG, have a few other bets for you that Vegas forgot.

How many tokes will it take for you to get stoned in Denver or Seattle?

How many times will FOX promote their terrible prime time lineup in the first half?
How many times will they compare Peyton’s neck to a giraffe’s ?
What time in the first quarter will you want to kill that girl at the party who WONT SHUT UP THE ENTIRE TIME?
How many times will said girl say during Bruno Mars halftime performance, ‘Oh my God, I love that song!”  
The over/under on how many times the ‘Know-it-all’ at your SB party tells you that Peyton never beat Florida while he played for Tennessee.
How many times will you say about Fox’s sideline reporter Pam Oliver, “What the F*k is wrong with her hair?”

How many times will that damn girl at the party say, “I hate RIchard Sherman! He is just a thug who has killed hundreds!”

How many times will you go through a myriad of excuses for not going to work on Monday?
How many times will the Know-It-All at the party tell you about the time the Titans went to the Super Bowl and how he thought Dyson was in?
How many times will you think to yourself, ‘I hope the Titans make it back to the Super Bowl for the sole fact that I never have to hear about that team again?’

Enjoy the game my friends.

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