Your “simple” 2021 Resolutions

Goodbye, 2020 and really, thanks for nothing. You reminded me of the scene in Animal House when the new guys go to a fraternity rush party and wanted to hang out with the cool guys, but the frat bros kept directing them to hang out with the not-so-cool guys.

Once again, I have come up with a simple list of resolutions you can do in 2021 that would really help your fellow man. Or woman. Here we go!

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1-USING OUR TURN SIGNALS

This is so easy to do and yet, we don’t do it. I get it if you are in the left turning lane and you can only go that way, but you can still practice using your blinker. What I have a problem with is that when you are in the right lane, you see Burger King and you slam on your brakes to turn in. Hit that blinker, have some self-awareness and it would be much better world. You will get that BK, I am confidence in you, but not so much in your ability to press down on a little lever.

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2) YOUR CROSSFIT WORKOUTS

I will make this very, very simple. No one, absolutely no one, cares about your crossfit workouts. Or how many burpees you have done, or how many typewriters you have thrown or how many tires you have flipped. I know something else about to flip if you bring up your crossfit workout. Do us all a favor, just don’t. Thanks in advance.

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3) Laugh More

This is an absolute must. For example, years ago when I was a cameraman, we would have to go to the airport on occasion to interview someone. We were in a marked news car so people would always come up, always, and ask, “hey man, what’s going on?” I would always answer, “You ever hear of Garth Brooks?” And they would scream, yell, or immediately get on the phone and call someone. Then, when Garth didn’t show up, and the other person, not famous at all, would arrive, they would come up and say, “You told me Garth Brooks was coming!!” Correction, I did not. I merely asked if you had ever heard of Garth Brooks. Man, we laughed about this constantly and I am laughing now as I type it. See, laugh more!

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4) Facebook Drama

This has been one of my favorite things on Facebook over the years and that is when someone says they are leaving and all the comments that follow. I can assure you that no one, absolutely no one, like the crossfit workouts above, cares if you leave Facebook. My favorite comment was when someone said, “I am leaving for good!” And the reply was, “Hey, this is not a airport. You don’t have to tell us your departure time.” Fantastic retort and one that makes me do #3 a lot.

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5) Lunch Plans

This has to stop and stop soon. People asking me at 9 A.M. what I am doing for lunch all the time. I am praying I make it to 10, then maybe I will worry about lunch plans. Some of my friends ask with such eagerness and unbridled optimism about making lunch plans that I am concerned for their well-being. Imagine if they win $100 on a lottery ticket, they would have a stroke. Let’s roll this back from an 8 to about a 2.

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6) Open More Doors

I got to say, we are actually doing pretty good in this category so let’s keep it up in the new year. Very proud of you guys when I see this happening more and more so job well done.

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7-Saying “Thank You”

As simple as it sounds. As in, “Thank you for continuing to read this nonsense into 2021.” Open doors and saying thank you. Costs nothing yet it is priceless.

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@BIGJOEONTHEGOTN

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