I had not been to the Tennessee state fair in years until last Saturday night.
I will not let that happen again. Everyone, I mean everyone, should go to the state fair if for only one thing.
It was simply amazing. I wish I could have stayed there for days.
I will next year.
Here are some of the highlights from my state fair trip with my son.
- Saw a 600 lb. woman singing ‘Love Shack,’ in a tank top, jeans and heels, at a Karaoke outdoor booth. I swear to you, it sounded like a giant sow about to get slaughtered. Or maybe it was.
- At the same karaoke booth, a guy, in overalls, boots, no shirt and covered with tattoos singing Aaron Tippin’s song, ‘Kiss This,’ while walking out into the middle of the crowd and getting into people’s faces singing the song. He followed one girl until he jerked the mic out of the wall.
- Two midgets arguing over money then being separated by an elderly lady, who then told her husband, ‘They are dumber than sh*t.’ The midgets waited until she left and then argued some more then turned around and played ring toss and proceeded to argue with the carny.
- The same old lady who separated the midgets, came up to me and said, ‘Sure miss seeing you in the paper.’ WTF!
- A carny, who recognized me from TV, started talking about the Titans and football on a ride we were getting on. He got so into talking football, that he forgot to latch down our seats and lock the gate. He started the ride, only to realize what he had not done, runs over and locks the gates, while narrowly missing getting hit by the ride. He fell down though and I couldn’t stop laughing. He asked me after the ride what was so funny and I said, ‘Have you seen the new Bob Hope movie? It is hilarious.’ He says, ‘Yeh, I saw it last week.’ Amazing.
- My personal fave. One guy, mid 40’s, shaved head, has a tattoo on the back of his head of an eagle and was standing in line for a ride. A lady says, ‘what is that?’ His wife, I presume, standing next to the eagle tattooed head, says to the lady, ‘It is a fu*king eagle that doesn’t take any sh*t. You understand?’
I wish I could make this stuff up. Unfortunately, I can’t but that was only part of what I saw and experienced in 4 hours at the state fair. One worker there at the fair, told me they saw a guy wearing a tank top that said, ‘Fu*k You!’ He was asked by someone to please change the shirt and he simply responded, ‘Read the shirt.’
America, I love you! #SMDH