Vols New Play Caller Is……

To some, it is the 2nd most important job in the state of Tennessee.

Yes, ahead of Governor, Mayor, Senator, etc,. 

Number one, the head coach of the Vols football team.

That means number 2 is the play caller for the Orange & White, a job that has now become open and Vols fans are on pins and needles wondering who will be the new offensive coordinator.

Again, our crack staff at BJOTG has compiled the only list you need to see when it comes to who will be the 2nd most important person in the state of Tennessee.  

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SAD, STONED TITANS FAN

SADtitansFan

Pros: 

Would always go for two.  Would never punt.  Would go for it on 4th and 25 from his own 10.  He would have a very short playbook so the guys wouldn’t have to learn a ton of stuff.   Plus, he gives zero sh*ts if you don’t like his play calling or not. 

Cons:

 Would eat all the food during team functions.  Would spend majority of team playing X-Box and fixing his skateboard.  Instead of game film, would show offense old Dave Chappelle shows.

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RON HOWES

RonHowes180

Pros:

 Knows how to work complex computers that predict the weather.  Calm under pressure during major storms that roll through middle Tennessee.  Hasn’t aged in 30 years. 

Cons:

Not sure if he has ever left Newschannel 5 studios for anything in the last 30 years.  

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The ‘Got Ya A Dollar’ Old Man

gotyouadollar

PROS:

Unique way of getting plays into the huddle.  His smart-ass tongue would keep the players in stitches.

CONS:

Has a pacemaker.  Wouldn’t stand up to crowd noises and excitement.  Would be a better fit if Vandy needs a coach.

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KEVIN FEDERLINE

kevin-federline-fat-pool

Brittney Spears ex-husband has no pros and actually, too many cons to list.  He just looks like a Vols fan.  Or maybe Bama.  Definitely Mississippi State.  If he has a bad game as OC, Vols fans can yell, “He looks like one of us, get off his ass!  It is Butch’s fault!”  Trust me on this.

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KATO KAELIN

kato-testifies-1995

PROS:

Lord, there are about 544.  Loyal to a fault. 

CONS:

If he got the job, he would NEVER leave, no matter when they fire him.  

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JOHN DALY

John-Daly-001

PROS:

He is a winner.  Knows the SEC pretty good. Can out drink any fan or fan base.  Everyone loves him.

CONS: 

Has a tendency to disappear for long periods of time.  His mental state could be a problem.  Could be. 

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COACH NICKERSON

(ALL THE RIGHT MOVES)

alltherightmoves

PROS:

Demanding.  Holds players accountable, even those that throw trash on him, his wife and his little girl.  He is ambitious and is on a fast track to the top.

CONS:  

Coached at Cal-Poly Tech.  Also, a really terrible typing teacher. 

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DEREK DOOLEY

derekdooley

PROS:

His dad is legendary Georgia coach Vince Dooley.  Also, worked for Nick Saban at LSU where he won a National Championship.  Smart, hard working guy who has his law degree.

CONS:

 I have tried and tried but it is really hard to find a fault with the guy.  The only problem, the years of 2010-2012 are missing from his resume.  Could be a slight concern.

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@BIGJOEONTHEGO

1 comment

  1. Brutus January 28, 2015 3:07 pm  Reply

    Walt
    Roy Napper
    Jeff Smedley
    Hunky
    Dewey Black

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