Twitter Through History, Part 1

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I love this question and it gets asked all the time.

‘What if Twitter had been around back in the day?’ It comes up almost all the time when someone is discussing Twitter. 3 years ago, it was, ‘What if Facebook had been around back in the day?’ Well, since Facebook is now drama and pics of you and your damn family on vacation, and food, Twitter is more apropos for this topic.

Why Twitter, Joe?

140 characters or less. If you can’t say it within that parameter, you probably shouldn’t be saying it anyway.

And with the 4th of July, we thought, let’s explore this topic with American presidents, and a few other great Americans. If the these guys had had

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a Twitter account, here’s what it would have been like.

And their unique Twitter handles. Enjoy

 

GEORGE WASHINGTON

GEORGE WASHINGTON

 

@WoodenTeef

‘Jesus! Guy at Kroger asked me if i was Barbara Bush!!

Cant get a break. #FML.’

 

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THOMAS JEFFERSON

THOMAS JEFFERSON

 

 

@WhosYourDaddy

‘Got some new peeps on the staff. Monticello? More like Monti-helloooo! Holla at number 3 why dontcha?’

 

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BEN FRANKLIN

BEN FRANKLIN

 

@LightningRod

‘Bi-Focals! Bi-Focals dammit…Not Bi anything else…so tired of dealing with stupid people….#GrowUp’

 

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JOHN HANCOCK

JOHN HANCOCK

 

@BiggerISbetter

‘Gettin ready to sign the DOI…I need to come up with something clever so ppl will stop makin fun of my name.’

 

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ANDREW JACKSON

ANDREW JACKSON

 

@No1VolsFan

‘Trail of Tears? More like Trail of Beers for me….who’s up for happy hour? Woot woot!

 

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ABE LINCOLN

ABE LINCOLN

@NotHankJRfan

‘tired as a mo-fo and don’t want to go to this play tonight, but she has already bought tix, so…..’

 

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ANDREW JOHNSON

ANDREW JOHNSON

 

@NeverGotElected

‘Just got impeached…..whatevs…..this is all bullsh*t anyway…….look at the bright side, at least I am not Derek Dooley.’

 

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TEDDY ROOSEVELT

TEDDY ROOSEVELT

 

@IveGot2BigSticks

‘…lemme get this straight….we dug the canal….we built the canal…..we paid for the canal…..and they just want it? Sure, give it to them. #Sarcasm #STFU.’

 

Followed by this tweet an hour later

 

@IveGot2BigSticks……..’I hate you Jimmy Carter.’

 

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FDR

FDR

 

@Elected4Times

‘The only thing we have to fear is fear itself…..and Chuck Norris…#OhFranky.’

 

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JFK

JFK

 

@HatesCommiesLovesBabes

‘Partayyy tonight at the WH…..hide yo wives, hide yo husbands., hide yo kids….”

 

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RICHARD NIXON

RICHARD NIXON

 

@TrickyDicky

‘What do you mean by, They Got Caught? of course I didn’t tweet this…..

 

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BILL CLINTON

BILL CLINTON

 

@HeyLadies

‘I luv a lady in a sexy pant suit-Said no one ever, LOLZ……..Hey, someone hit me up for strip poker…..I keed, I keed…#NotReally.’

 

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George W. Bush

George W. Bush

 

@DontMessWithTexs

‘So I have 140 characters right, to use. Damn yipee….here goes…..Batman, Superman, dont like Robin….Love Aquaman,how does he swim underwater?? Hate the Joker, thats what we call Rumsfeld….Penguin, dont tell Dick Cheney, we call him that…and hold up Sccoby Doo….does he count? cause you see…….’

 

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4 Comments

  1. Jenny July 3, 2013 7:32 pm  Reply

    You have officially made my day.

    • Joe Dubin July 8, 2013 11:31 pm  Reply

      Your day must really really really really suck

  2. Lesa July 4, 2013 12:43 pm  Reply

    Sports? Really?? You missed your true calling…Snort-worthy 🙂 OhJoejoe! You crack me up!!

    • Joe Dubin July 8, 2013 11:31 pm  Reply

      so you are sniffing my blog, like cocaine!!?!?? OH MY GOD!

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