TITANS COACHING CANDIDATES

IN THE NEXT WEEK OR SO, YOU WILL SEE COUNTLESS LISTS OF WHO THE TITANS ARE LOOKING AT WHEN IT COMES TO THEIR NEW HEAD COACH.  IT WILL BE THE SAME 4 OR 5 RETREADS AND WILL REALLY GIVE YOU ZERO NEW INFORMATION.

 

MY STAFF AT BJOTG WORKS HARD TO PEEL BACK THE LAYERS AND FIND YOU COACHING CANDIDATES WHO WOULD BE A GREAT FIT FOR THE TITANS, OUTSIDE THE NORM.

 

OUR SEARCH CRITERIA IS BASED ON A FEW THINGS.  APPEAL, LIKABILITY, NON-LIKABILITY AND IF WE CAN FIND A GOOFY PICTURE IN OUR GOOGLE SEARCH.

BUCKLE UP, HERE WE GO.

 

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TITANS SAD FACE GUY

SADtitansFan

THIS WOULD BE THE BEST HIRE!  IMAGINE HIS PRESS CONFERENCES AFTER LOSSES.  WOULD BE LIKE SPICOLI IN FAST TIMES.  SO WHAT IF HE HAS NO COACHING EXPERIENCE, I BET THIS DUDE CAN TALK HIS WAY OUT OF ANYTHING.  COPS, DRUG DEALERS, MEDIA, ETC.  

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CARL FROM THE WALKING DEAD

photo (3)

DUDE HAS BEEN LIVING DAY TO DAY FOR THE PAST 5 YEARS, SO MUCH HE IS USED TO LOOKING OVER HIS SHOULDER, ALL THE TIME.  NOTHING SCARES HIM.  NOT JJ WATT, NOT PAUL KUHARSKY, NOT NASHVILLE TRAFFIC.  NOTHING!

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KATO KAELIN

kato-testifies-1995

GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON WHY NOT?  EXACTLY. GUY IS GREAT AT DEFLECTING AND WON’T COST MUCH BECAUSE HE IS ALREADY PROBABLY LIVING IN SOME DUDE’S GARAGE OR EXTRA BEDROOM.  

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COACH NICKERSON FROM ‘ALL THE RIGHT MOVES’

alltherightmoves

TAKES ZERO CRAP FROM PLAYERS, COACHES, FANS AND THE MEDIA.  CAN YOU IMAGINE JURRELL CASEY RUNNING THE 6-2 STACK MONSTER?  THEY WOULD GO 16 GAMES AND NOT GIVE UP A DAMN POINT.  BUT, DO NOT POUR GARBAGE IN HIS YARD.  AND REMEMBER, THE TEAM BUS, IS ONLY FOR PLAYERS.   GO RIDE WITH THE BAND. 

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BARNEY

Barney_2265600b

IT WOULD MATCH WHAT WE HAVE SEEN FROM THE TEAM ON THE FIELD THE LAST FEW YEARS, SO THIS IS PERFECT.  PLUS, A TALKING DINOSAUR?  GOLD!

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GREG POGUE

grannydriver6

LONGTIME NASHVILLE SPORTS WRITER/RADIO HOST WHO HAS A PENCHANT FOR GETTING TO THE BOTTOM OF THE STORY.  PLUS, HE WOULD PROBABLY COACH FOR FREE IF HE COULD GET NASHVILLE PREDATOR TICKETS FOR EACH GAME. 

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THE ROSE BOWL SCREAMER

ROSEBOWLSCREAMER

IMAGINE HIM AT PRESS CONFERENCES, FAN EVENTS, TITANS CARAVAN, YOU NAME IT, THIS GUY WOULD BE SO ANNOYING YET WE WOULD NOT STOP WATCHING.  AND, IF THE TITANS DRAFTED CHRISTIAN MCAFFREY, HOLY COW, MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN!

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THE FAKE SIGN LANGUAGE GUY

fakesignlanguage

GOOD LUCK TRYING TO STEAL THE TITANS SIGNALS.  GOOD LUCK WITH THAT. 

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MIKE FROM ‘BREAKING BAD’

mikebreakingbad

I WILL TELL YOU THIS, GUYS WILL BE ON TIME TO EVERY SINGLE THING THEY DO IF HE IS THE COACH.  EVERYTHING.  YES, I KNOW HE IS ‘DEAD,’ BUT HEY, WE PUT A MAN ON THE MOON, WE CAN BRING BACK A DEAD CHARACTER.  PLUS, THE TITANS WOULD HAVE ZERO OFF THE FIELD PROBLEMS.

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@BIGJOEONTHEGO

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