The Roundtable

Not too long ago, we at BJOTG had a chance to sit down with 5 SEC football coaches for an exclusive ‘Roundtable’ where

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nothing was off limits and nothing was out of bounds.

The 5 coaches.

Butch Jones-Tennessee

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NICK SABAN-ALABAMA

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JAMES FRANKLIN-VANDY

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LES MILES-LSU

11-les-miles-eats-turf-during-games

WILL MUSCHAMP-FLORIDA

madmuschamp

Again, this was a once in a blue moon setting to have all five sit down. It got quite, interesting, to say the least. Enjoy.

***********************************************************************************************************

HOW HAS COLLEGE FOOTBALL CHANGED IN THE LAST 5 YEARS?

———————————————————-

JF- CAN I GO FIRST? CAN I GO FIRST??

SABAN- James, why don’t we go alphabetically? Alabama comes first so I will go.

MILES-Umm, Nick, pretty sure Les goes before Nick. So I will go first. We at LSU….(interrupted)

JF- Guys, guys. Vanderbilt graduates the highest number of student-athletes. I think we should go first.

BUTCH-I agree, let Vandy go first. Pretty sure this will be the last time they get first in anything with football. BUTCH!

SABAN-Excuse me, but did you just go third person on yourself? That is quite odd.

MUSCHAMP-ITYE EBNGJ OEIEG GOEOD, GRRRRRRR!!

MILES-Excuse me Will, what the fu*k was that?

SABAN-Will cant put together sentences, at least ones we can understand. He is like Jodie Foster in Nell.

BUTCH- Do you guys know I have my dream job at Cincy, err, Tennessee?

JF-Jesus, I already miss Derek Dooley.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

THE SEC HAS WON 7 STRAIGHT NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS. WHY HAS YOUR LEAGUE BECOME SO DOMINANT?

***************************************************

SABAN-Umm, James and Butch, you can leave the room for a few, thanks. This question will NEVER pertain to you.

BUTCH-You little snake!

MUSCHAMP-UEYEY DIEUEE DIEAUA WGPOIU!

MILES-Seriously, what the fu*k is he saying?

FRANKLIN-Guys, Guys, Guys. The NFL stands for Not For Long. A degree from Vandy goes a long way in the world today.

BUTCH-What the hell does that have to be with being dominant?

MILES- Guys! I think Muschamp is dead. He is not breathing.

SABAN-Someone poke him. He does this from time to time.

FRANKLIN-It has to do with graduating players. A Vandy degree goes a long way in the world today.

BUTCH-You just said that.

MILES-I really think he is dead guys.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

SOCIAL MEDIA HAS BECOME SUCH A BIG PART OF EVERYTHING WE DO NOW. DO YOU LIKE FOR YOUR PLAYERS TO EMBRACE IT OR DOES IT SCARE YOU?

****************************************

SABAN-It is what it is today and, (interrupted)

FRANKLIN-I am sorry. All due respect Nick, but why do you think you should go first every time. Really, you go first every single time.

SABAN-Sorry James, I am just used to always being first.

BUTCH-OH SNAP! SIT YO ASS DOWN JAMES!

FRANKLIN-Umm, I am already sitting.

BUTCH-Good one Butch, Hi-five my man. (He hi-fives himself.)

FRANKLIN-Dude, you are as nuts as your fans.

MILES-Did you go third person again? Why?

BUTCH-You eat grass. You don’t smoke it. Let that sink in. You. Eat.Grass.

MUSCHAMP-AAARGH, AAARGH…..AGHEIB!!!!

FRANKLIN-Jesus, you are nuts. I thought I was crazy, but you! Good God.

SABAN-Can

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I finish answering the question since I was interrupted? Thanks, I am of the mind set that we need to let these young men be young men, after all, they are young men.

MILES-Huh?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

HOW DO YOU STOP JOHNNY MANZIEL? HIS ONE SEASON WAS QUITE MEMORABLE.

*******************************************

BUTCH-Well we have a whole year of tape on him and, excuse me Les, what is so damn funny?

SABAN-Don’t ask him. Don’t!

MILES-Hahahaha. Oh man are you serious? I can’t wait for Nicky to answer this question. We stopped him. We stopped him good. And I believe Florida did too. Right Will?

MUSCHAMP-GLERT HTYGHT UYHEYE AIDEYE GIGYG…….*blank stare*

MILES-Nick, it is YOUR turn.

SABAN-Sorry, was polishing my 3 rings. Damn these things are heavy. I am sorry what was the

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question again?

FRANKLIN-Look, only 3% of college players get to the next level. That is why a diploma from Vandy stands out. Go for your future now, with a Vandy degree.

BUTCH-Here we go again on graduating.

MILES- We have a lot going on in the world. A lot Our players have to live up to a standard that very few have to do. Whether you are working at IBM or down the street at the five and dime, you are expected to perform. (Long Pause) I watch the Price of Right. Why? Cause it tells us a lot about life. And when Bob Barker, when he gives them roses at the end to carry on or come back or leave, it is like mac and cheese. The anticipation of getting that rose and the ones who don’t. Their lives are forever changed because America didn’t text or call someone is a uniqueness that cannot be quantified on some form.

FRANKLIN-What. The. Hell. Was. That?

BUTCH-Hey, can you guys follow me on Twitter?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

FINALLY, WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN 5 YEARS?

**********************************

FRANKLIN-Congratulating my players for getting their diploma

BUTCH-Yeh right, at some Division 3 school. BUTCH!

MILES-Look our national discourse has to be on this. Why are young men young?

FRANKLIN-I really do not know how you got out of school, much less a job.

MUSCHAMP-LOOK HERE! (He is grinding his teeth.) I …….LIKE FOOTBALL…….A LOT! I LIKE IT!

SABAN-This interview has gone past the allotted 5 mins I gave you. It is 8 seconds over. I am gone.

BUTCH-In 5 years, I plan on following Brian Kelly wherever he goes. This is off the record right?

FRANKLIN-Here is the deal. You have to think about your future. A degree from Vandy ensures that…..Excuse me, Muschamp what are you doing?????!!!

*************************************************************************************************

Sadly, at this moment the round table interview was over as Muschamp tried to bite off Les Miles’ head but was subdued by the other coaches. Muschamp then tried to eat the table and was escorted out.

What did we learn from this? I think a lot. Passionate coaches who love their, oh who am I kidding, we learned nothing.

4 Comments

  1. doug July 3, 2013 2:38 am  Reply

    Bravo Big Joe! Well done!

    • Joe Dubin July 8, 2013 11:32 pm  Reply

      TIPS HAT*****and tip jar

  2. Lisa Frye July 3, 2013 6:10 am  Reply

    Bahahahaha…ohhhhh, that was rich. Good stuff, Dubin!!

    • Joe Dubin July 8, 2013 11:32 pm  Reply

      You are the rich one….brentwood gal…oh wait, you are in mt. juliet now….HAHAHAHAHAHA

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