Same Circus, Different Clowns

 

 

SEC Media Days. Insanity times 10,000. No I am kidding. It is more like insanity X 1,000,000.

Yes, it is a circus. And yes, this circus has clowns. A lot of them. I am one of them. I might be the biggest clown there is.

Heck, we all are down here. Some clowns make you laugh. Some clowns make you run and lock your doors. And some clowns, well, there are simply no words.

And they are all here.

So in between radio and TV duties, I made the rounds at the Wynfrey Hotel and went in and out of the different interview rooms and overheard a lot of conversations and questions.

Here are some of the best, err, funniest ones.

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“DO YOU THINK NICK SABAN WILL STOP FOR A PICTURE WITH ME?’

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“WOW, JOHNNY MANZIEL IS REALLY SHORT. LIKE, REALLY SHORT. I BET HE ISN’T OVER 5 FEET TALL.” (The guy who said this, not kidding, was about 5’5.)

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Me to Florida coach Will Muschamp, as he walked by.

‘Hey coach!

“Hey Joe, how are you?’

Muschamp pauses to have a conversation with me. Silence for about 3 seconds.

“Well, take care.”

(If you remember the Chris Farley show on SNL, that was going to be me if I said anything else. ‘Remember that time you ate a player’s head and then had a heart attack and told your heart to man up? That was awesome.)

*********************************************************************

“Hey is that the Kentucky football coach.’

“That guy by the wall?”

‘Yes, I am going to talk to him.”

10 seconds later….

“It wasn’t him. It was one of the hotel managers.”

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“Did you see me on ESPN any?”

“Yes, non stop. You worked harder getting on ESPN than anyone I have ever seen to just stand there.”

One of the reporters to me.

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“Gary Pinkel is the coaches name at Missouri?’

“Yes, Pinkel.”

“How do you spell that?”

“Pinkle. Like Tinkle.’

“But without the T right?’

“No, his name is Gary Tinkle. Like, excuse me, I need to go tinkle.’

“That is a funny last name. I bet he gets made fun of all the time.”

Me to a TV intern who was about to interview the Missouri coach.

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Reporter to Vols head coach, Butch Jones

“Coach, why do they call you Butch?”

“Because I didn’t like my first name.”

“What is your first name?”

“Lyle.”

“Pfft, I don’t blame you.”

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The Missouri Quarterback and the Vandy coach, both have the same name. James Franklin. Not kidding.

“They both are named James Franklin.”

“Wait, how does that work?”

“What do you mean?”

“They both have the same name.”

“Yes. They are both named James Franklin.”

“So the coach and quarterback have the same name?”

“Have you not heard a word I have said?”

“You would think one would call the other and say, ‘change your name. I had it first.’”

“Who do you think had it first?

“The quarterback. He is the one playing.”

James Franklin-Vandy coach 41

James Franklin-Mizzou QB 21

Unfortunately, I had no part in that conversation. I would still be talking and confusing them.

God Bless the circus that is SEC Media Days.

 

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