Well if you’re reading this, then you are not dead and have survived the great ICE STORM of 2015.
Congrats!
But as you can imagine, we are getting no sympathy from the rest of the country because they all think, we got a dusting and a few ice cubes.
So, here are the imaginary headlines from other cities papers who are jealous of us being the IT city.
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MEMPHIS COMMERCIAL APPEAL
“HA HA HA! GO TO HELL NASHVILLE!”
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CHICAGO SUN TIMES
“DID THE BEER FREEZE, TOO? THAT’S OK, WE WILL STILL DRINK IT AND INVADE YOUR SISSY CITY”
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MIAMI HERALD
“NASHVILLE SLAMMED BY ICE. MIAMI ROBBED BY VANILLA ICE. SIGH, NASHVILLE WINS”
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BOSTON GLOBE
“WHERE IS NASHVILLE AGAIN?”
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LOS ANGELES TIMES
“Y’ALL READY TO MOVE BACK YET?
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Houston Chronicle
“CAN’T THE WANNABE NFL CITY HANDLE A LITTLE ICE? SPEAKING OF I.C.E., THEY JUST SENT HALF OF HOUSTON BACK TO MEXICO!”
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LOUISVILLE COURIER JOURNAL
“OH MY GOD! HOW CAN WE HELP? PLEASE LET US KNOW! PLEASE, 24/7, WE ARE HERE FOR YOU GUYS!”
(THIS IS FUNNY IF YOU K NOW HOW DESPERATELY LOUISVILLE WANTS TO BE LIKE NASHVILLE)
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NEW YORK POST
“HALF A MILLION UNEDUCATED SMELLY HILLBILLIES WILL SOON RESORT TO EATING EACH OTHER TO SURVIVE AND OUR WORLD WILL BE BETTER FOR IT”
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DETROIT FREE-PRESS
“Hi?”
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ATLANTA JOURNAL-CONSTITUTION
“HELL NO! DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT COMING DOWN HERE TO GET AWAY. WE STILL HAVEN’T GOT RID OF EVERYONE FROM DETROIT YET!”
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@BIGJOEONTHEGO
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