Here We Go Again

I came down to leave to work the other day, hopped in my jeep and turned the key and got nothing.  Zero.  My car was as dead as all the skits on SNL the past 5 years.  Anyway, thankfully, It was parked in my garage and that was not the case in years passed when my car(s) would break down in some absolutely crazy places.

I know we have all had our cars not start, or start and then die in places that we will never forget.

Here are my top 5 places I have broken down and that is the most oxymoron statement of all time. Enjoy.

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I-65 between Nashville and Huntsville

Coming home from Samford one weekend and out of the blue, my car starts smoking as if we were an extra in a Cheech & Chong movie.  Remember, no cell phones back then.  I was moving my then girlfriend back to Franklin and the car was loaded with her belongings.  The nearest rest stop was 3 miles away so I had no choice but to walk and call my brother, who ended up saving my tail, again.  As I left, I totally expected to never see her again because I saw the movie The Hitcher and I know what happens.

The car was packed with her things from college, so we couldn’t just leave it sitting with no one there.  2 hours later, I walked back to the car only to see her take every stuff animal she had and place them around the car as if a tea party was going on.  I proceeded to take every said animal and launched them into the woods near the car.  Every. Single. One. Of. Them.  It was also 100 degrees that day.

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40 And Spence Lane Off-Ramp

 

Hell on earth!  I was just figuring out how to drive a car with a clutch and it stalled on the off-ramp.  I had no where to go.  Stuck on that hill, cars flying by me left and right and I was alone so I couldn’t get out and push.  I will never forget one guy who stopped and said, “If I were your dad, I would kick your A##!”  Which to this day, I am still dumbfounded by that.  As if I planned that to happen.  Finally, someone stopped and helped me to the side of the road.  I still cringe to this day when I drive by that exit.  Also, I wonder what the guy is doing who yelled at me?

 

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Red Light at Two Mile Parkway and Gallatin Rd.

Oh, I am sorry. THIS was hell on earth. During Christmas time, and my car dies at the red light.
I have never in my life seen so many people who wanted me to die and that is not a joke. I got flipped off by just about every car that drove by.  Again, a good man parked his car, ran over and helped me push my car to the side of the ride.

Because of this incident, to this day, if someone is broken down as I was at a red light, I will get out and help. Had that guy not helped me push my car, I would have been Steven Seagal in Above The Law, fighting the entire cities of Madison and Goodlettsville that day.

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Car Wash-Donelson Pike

As I was pulling up into the one bay that was open, my truck decided to die. With about 10 cars behind me. Never in my life did I just want to walk away and never come back. So follow me here-First sunny day in about a week, and everyone at lunch time goes to get their car washed and the owner is probably thinking, “I will be Montgomery Burns rich after today.” Then he gets a call that a guy has broke down in front of the door to go in and we can’t get him to move. Absolutely awful. Again, to this day, I get so nervous when I go to get my car washed hoping that doesn’t happen again.

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Commerce Street Garage-Downtown Nashville

This is why every single person should have AAA. At the very bottom of the garage, after a Preds game around 10:30 at night and my car would not start. This is the one time where I just wanted to put my fist through a brick wall and nearly did. I called AAA and the guy shows up, calls me and says, “hey, they put the gate down and I can’t get in.” This dude, grabs his tool bag, walks to the very bottom of the garage, in the way back and fixes my car. God bless that guy wherever you are in this wonderful world. Those 5 minutes though, when it wouldn’t start and no one else was around, was one of the worst feelings ever. AAA, you are A-OK. (I am available for endorsements, thanks.)

@BIGJOEONTHEGO

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