Hello, 2017!

Goodbye 2016 and hello 2017.  And everyone has the same resolutions of losing weight, eating better, taking control of their lives and yada, yada, yada.  Usually, by March 1st, these have all gone out the window and we are back to square one. 

So, why not make a list of things we can all do better in 2017?  Cool.

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1) USING OUR TURN SIGNALS

WE CAN ALL GET BETTER DOING THIS.  LOOK, I GET IT WHEN YOU ARE IN THE LEFT-HAND TURN LANE AND YOU ARE GOING TO TURN LEFT BECAUSE YOU ARE IN A DESIGNATED TURN LANE BUT GOING DOWN MURFREESBORO RD AND WANT TO STOP AT BURGER KING AND HAPPEN TO BE GOING 55 IN A 30,  YOU ARE GONNA GET A WHOPPER ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.  

SO LET’S MAKE TURN SIGNALS BE OUR BEST FRIENDS.

2) YOUR CROSSFIT WORKOUTS

I WILL MAKE THIS VERY SIMPLE.  ABSOLUTELY NO ONE, I MEAN NO ONE, CARES ABOUT HOW MANY BURPEES YOU DID, OR HOW MANY TYPEWRITERS YOU TOSSED, OR HOW MANY TIRES YOU FLIPPED.  ABSOLUTELY, NO ONE.  AND THIS IS THE FACE I WILL MAKE WHEN YOU TRY TO TELL ME. 

MUSCHAMP

 

3)-LAUGH MORE

THIS IS A MUST.  EXAMPLE, LAST WEEK WHEN THE TENNESSEE VOLS FOOTBALL TEAM ARRIVED IN NASHVILLE FOR THE BOWL GAME, THE MEDIA SET UP MICS AND CAMERA’S OUTSIDE THE TEAM HOTEL TO INTERVIEW BUTCH JONES.  PEOPLE WOULD WALK UP AND ASK, “WHAT IS GOING ON.”  I WOULD RESPOND, “YOU EVER HEAR OF GARTH BROOKS?”  THE LOOK ON THEIR FACE WAS PRICELESS, AS IF GARTH WAS GETTING READY TO SHOW UP.  I SAID THIS TO AT LEAST 20 PEOPLE.  

BUTCH JONES SHOWS UP, DOES HIS INTERVIEW AND LEAVES.  A SWEET LADY WALKS UP AFTER AND SAYS, “YOU SAID GARTH WAS GONNA SHOW UP?”  I SAID, “NO MA’AM.  I ASKED IF YOU HAD EVER HEARD OF GARTH, NEVER SAID HE WAS GOING TO SHOW UP.”  SHE PATTED ME ON THE SHOULDER, STARTED LAUGHING AND SAID, “YOU GOT ME.  THAT IS FUNNY.”  AND HER AND HER HUSBAND WALKED OFF, STILL LAUGHING.  

LET’S SIMPLY JUST LAUGH MORE, WHEN AND WHEREVER WE CAN.

 

4) FACEBOOK DRAMA

THIS HAS BECOME MY NEW FAVORITE THING TO READ ON FACEBOOK.  PEOPLE DECLARING THAT ARE ”LEAVING FACEBOOK” AND ALL THE COMMENTS THAT FOLLOW.

“PLEASE DON’T LEAVE”, “I DON’T BLAME YOU”, “I’M RIGHT WITH YOU”, “DON’T DO IT, COME BACK,”  AND ON AND ON. 

PEOPLE, WE HAVE TO BE BETTER THAN THIS.  IF YOU ARE GOING TO GET OFF FACEBOOK, GO, DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT AND LEAVE.  THIS “DECLARATION” REMINDS ME WHEN MICHAEL SCOTT DECLARED BANKRUPTCY ON “THE OFFICE” BY SHOUTING IT OUT LOUD.  

 

5) OPEN DOORS

IT IS AS SIMPLE AS IT SOUNDS.  AND SMILE WHILE DOING IT.  I ACTUALLY SEE MORE PEOPLE OPEN DOORS THAN NOT SO I THINK WE ARE DOING THIS VERY WELL BUT LET’S JUST KEEP IT GOING. 

 

6) LUNCH PLANS

THIS ABSOLUTELY HAS TO STOP.  DO NOT ASK ME WHAT I AM DOING FOR LUNCH AT 9 AM.  SOME OF MY FRIENDS, ASK EARLIER THAN THAT.  AND DO NOT DO IT WITH SUCH EAGERNESS AND UNBRIDLED OPTIMISM.  HOW ABOUT WE GET TO 10:30 FIRST, OR BETTER YET, LET’S SET IT UP WEEKS IN ADVANCE?  BECAUSE IF YOU DO IT AT 8 AM, HERE IS THE FACE I WILL BE MAKING. DRPHIL

 

7)  SAYING “THANK YOU”

AS SIMPLE AS IT SOUNDS, THANK YOU.  AS IN, THANK YOU FOR CONTINUING TO READ THIS COMPLETE NONSENSE.  GO ATTACK 2017.

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@BIGJOEONTHEGO

 

6 Comments

  1. Steve Newell January 3, 2017 6:27 am  Reply

    I will do my best to make you proud Joe! I think I can keep all of these. However I cannot make any promises as I rarely seem to keep all my resolutions. Happy New Year Big Joe!

    • Joe Dubin January 5, 2017 4:32 am  Reply

      How about making a resolution not to make a resolution. Does that work?

  2. William James January 3, 2017 2:47 pm  Reply

    Could you have at least used a current photo of NISSAN Stadium for your Nebraska post? The one you used must have been taken shortly after Ft. Negley was constructed.

    • Joe Dubin January 5, 2017 4:33 am  Reply

      Nope..I built most of that stadium by myself.

  3. Sarah January 3, 2017 4:56 pm  Reply

    I’ve also added establishing a friendly, interested relationships with grocery checkers and food service personnel. Doesn’t hurt to smile, say “thank you,” and tell them you hope they have a good day. They haven’t hit me yet!

    • Joe Dubin January 5, 2017 4:59 am  Reply

      Perfect!! One step at a time…

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