Ever wonder what would happen if, in addition to their main job, if all the coaches in the SEC had a part time job of being a movie critic?
No? Well when you drink too much Fireball, you tend to get creative.
Since most of the SEC football coaches are robotic zombies, it would be fun if they could give us a quick review on a movie we have all seen, The Shawshank Redemption.
As you can read ahead, they had a tough time.
“Gotta be honest. I started watching, then about 10 minutes into it, switched to Scandal, then to the SEC Network, then to Everbody Hates Chris, then I saw Morgan Freeman in a prison, then back to Scandal. Pretty sure it is about a man in prison who finds redemption.”
“The whole movie is a process. Of one finding themselves, relying on teammates, or inmates, then figuring a way out. I saw good posture on the men and a quiet resolve that grew stronger and stronger. It is the bond of friendship and loyalty brought together by a common bond, a complete process of fundamentals and determination that somehow reflects on the person we are and the person we want to be.
“The next movie I watch, will be the first one. Now get out of my driveway.”
“A man finds himself on the wrong side of the law. I don’t know, ask Mark Richt, he has plenty of guys in jail.”
“Why am I reviewing a movie? Have I been fired? No? Then why are you asking me? Do you know something? Answer the G**Damn question?!”
“Welp, I’ve seen it. Yep, seen it several times. Once while flipping through the channels one night and it was on one of those higher end numbers. Like 700 or 800. Then a few nights later, saw it again, but on a lower number. Maybe 400. 500, Shit, I don’t remember. Good movie.”
“I would like to address what the Auburn coach said first. I have no comment on that. I have seen the movie, you should too. (Smile.)”
“It is about courage. About passion. About a team working together to not only get better, but to solve their own problems, and to work together to make the most of a bad situation, the best. We are talking about True Detective right?
“Gang, don’t know if you’ve seen it, but when I was at Vanderbilt, we made a great film about our students doing great work in Tanzania.