Dumb and Dumber, Volunteer State Style

Laws.

We need them. Got to have them.

But, some of these laws, well, let’s just say, they are kinda outdated.

The following are laws in the state of Tennessee. Yes, actual laws that you can be arrested over.

Please don’t break any of them….

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  • Bell Buckle-One may not throw bottles at a tree. (But if you do connect, the Titans want to sign you.)

 

  • Kimball-Bar owners may not let patrons make loud, unusual noises. (Clarify unusual noises please. And does a moan count?)

 

  • Lenoir County-When you pull up to a stop sign, you must fire a gun out the window to warn horse carriages that you are coming. (Thank God they clarified out the window. Plus, horses LOVE loud noises so this a win-win for all.)

 

  • Memphis-Illegal for a woman to drive a car unless there is a man either running or walking in front of it waving a red flag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrians. (Imagine that in today’s world. Actually, I would like to.)

 

  • Nashville-No person may keep a cheetah as a pet. (What about Cheetohs? OH Joe, stop it!)

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  • Nashville-All persons riding scooters must ride in single file. (Arrest those damn shriners during parades! Do it today!!!!)

 

 

  • Oneida-An ordinance forbids anyone to sing the song “It Ain’t Goin’ To Rain No Mo’. (I actually love this law! Yes, yes and yes again!)

 

  • Lexington-By law, anyone who has been drinking is “sober” until he or she “cannot hold onto the ground.” (Commonly referred to as the ‘Dean Martin’ law.)

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  • Tennessee state law-Any person who participates in a duel may not hold any public office in the state. (The one and only law I would love to see still going. A damn DUEL! How awesome would that be? ‘Where is so and so today? Oh, he died in a duel? Too bad.’)

 

  • Tennessee state law-It is illegal to dare a child to purchase a beer. (BUT, it says nothing about a double dare, so this doesn’t apply to me. Whew!)

 

@BIGJOEONTHEGO

4 Comments

  1. Big Ben August 20, 2013 3:20 pm  Reply

    Sir, I challenge ye to a duel. The weapon… Hemitage wal-mart whales and a catapault.

  2. Jenny August 20, 2013 5:50 pm  Reply

    My favorite of your blogs are those that I can’t pick a favorite of your comments. This is one of those times. Good stuff, Mr. Dubin.

  3. Jenny August 20, 2013 5:53 pm  Reply

    My favorite of your blogs are those that I can’t pick a favorite of your commentaries. This is one of those times. Good stuff, Mr. Dubin.

    • Jenny August 20, 2013 5:54 pm  Reply

      Damn it, it showed my first comment didn’t post. Feel free to delete one so I don’t appear as dumb as one of these laws. 🙂

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