I got it!
I have figured out how to increase morale at work. It is so simple, maybe y’all need a refresher course. Hey-eeeeee!
Of course, a raise is the ultimate morale boost but since none of us are getting one, this is the next best thing.
No, no that kind of dogpile you freak, this kind.
Yes, the ole celebratory dogpile.
Can you imagine, your office, out back, ole Tommy Smith just closed a big account and everyone gathers to dogpile. Alice from accounting. Frank from IT. Bernice from the front desk. EVERYONE! All gather out back and just dogpile.
But why a dogpile Joe and not the Gatorade bath? Great question Joe and watch this video to see why those are bad.
Yes face plant. We don’t want anyone getting hurt. At least alone. Multiple injuries would be OK. Imagine Bernice telling her kids how she got hurt. ‘Well, it was this giant dogpile and I was on top of Fran, who was on top of Jake, who was face down on the ground. As I got up, Chuck elbowed me in the face, thus the missing teeth.’
Tell me that wouldn’t be the greatest story ever from work? Of course it would. New applicants will have to check off in the box, Do you like dogpiles? Have you ever been in one? If hired, you will be required to partake in one a month. Is that OK?
Look, it has become the rage in baseball and everyone seems to enjoy it. If you need to practice, go to Pump-It-Up. It is a kiddie place you damn freaks, get your minds out of the gutter. They have bounce houses you can try your dogpile skills on. Tell me a boss in the country who wouldn’t love this, when he
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asks, ‘hey what are you doing for lunch?’ You say, ‘Headed out to Pump-It-Up. Dogpile practice.’
So cheer up America. Morale boost is on the way.