Ask Big Joe

ASK BIG JOE?  Oh yes!!

ASK BIG JOE? Oh yes!!


It is time for Ask BIG JOE! You guys have been awesome submitting questions to

When I said, Ask me anything, y’all did just that. Unreal.

Remember, I

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hold nothing back. I give you brutal honesty. I am just like

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Dr. Phil, except I don’t have a PHD, and I don’t have any experience dealing with people, I am not from Texas, I don’t have a TV show and I have never spoken to Oprah. Other than that, same thing.

Let’s do this!!!!


(JB from Indiana)

Dear Big Joe,

Do you think guys like Lance Armstrong are real athletes? Well, I have just as many Tour De France wins and twice as many balls. Thanks.


JB, great question. YES, he is an athlete. It takes an amazing amount of strength to bully an entire nation the way he did with the French. What’s that? The French surrendered? When? Wow, back in 1876? Oh ok. Thanks


(Kate from Franklin)

Dear Big Joe,

Do you think Charissa Thompson from ESPNs Sports Nation has a lazy eye or simply, a poor work ethic? Thank you. Also, HUGE fan of yours.


Thanks for the kind words Carol. Well, lets have a looksie at Charissa.

Lazy eye or poor worth ethic?

Lazy eye or poor worth ethic?

Gotta go with poor work ethic.




(Jim from Hermitage)

Dear Big Joe,

Is a dog’s mouth really cleaner than a human’s mouth?


That is false. I asked my dog one time why he licked himself, he simply said, ‘Because I can. So FU*K YOU FATASS!’ So, it is both a yes and a no.


(Ted’s mom)

Dear Big Joe,

I am thinking of writing a mush Facebook status update about the love of my life. What is the best way to word it to make the greatest number of people shower after reading it, to wash the ick off?


Facebook is now for vacation photos and taking picture of your food. Have you tried MySpace or going to hell? Both work.


(Charles from Bellevue)

Dear Big Joe,

What is the best way to end a blind date that is going awful?


Great question Chuck. Here is what you do. First off, always drive separately. Makes the get-a-way much easier. Then get up to go the bathroom, and ask her if you can borrow her lotion. She will give you a funny look and you say, ‘OH MY GOD! YOU ARE DISGUSTING.’ Start crying and run out.

(Ed Note: Do NOT try this at Brick Tops, Morton’s, Valentino’s, Amerigo’s, Macaroni Grill, O’Charley’s, Famous Dave’s, TGIFridays, Ruby Tuesday, Sonic, Outback Steakhouse, Logan’s Roadhouse, Taco Bell, Wendy’s, BackYard Burgers, Subway, Lenny’s, K-Mart Deli, Shoney’s, Fazolis, Puckett’s Grocery, Menages, Tennessee Social Club, FireHouse Subs, TCBY, and Pizza Hut. Don’t ask why, just DON’T do it.)


(Gerald from Knoxville)

Dear Big Joe,

I am thinking about getting on Twitter but I need a cool handle. One that will stand out and get me noticed. I over see 5 pre-school (advanced) academies and I love working with kids. Thanks.


Gerald, I get asked this all the time. Since you like working with kids, I would go with this handle, @LittleKidsLover. I have heard this before and I am pretty sure it would get you noticed.



1 comment

  1. Ted's mom June 20, 2013 5:51 pm  Reply

    Need some clarification… Aren’t Myspace and Hell the same thing?

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